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I Don’t Worry About the Sex Tape
I’m not worried about a sex tape surfacing. I mean, really, what’s the worst that could happen? It seems to work out really well for celebrities, and I don’t plan to be a beauty queen. I might consider it, but I’ve been told I don’t have the hips for it. I also don’t have the boobs or vagina for it, but now I’m just being technical.
The video release that I’d fear most would be candid footage of me being an idiot. I know you do it too, so don’t judge me. If anything, we should probably hang out more.
What kind of candid footage? Nothing illegal. It probably should be illegal… Footage like me singing in the car. Nah… That’s too light. Everybody knows that one.
How about footage taken when you’re getting out of the shower? Maybe footage in the shower? Maybe it’s a solo-sex-tape? Are you guys picking up what I’m laying down here?
That’s also very common. You do it to. If you’re claiming that you don’t know either of the above concepts, you’re a robot. You’re possibly plotting world domination and must be stopped.
What kind of video could be more embarrassing than that? How about video of you, just hanging out in your house. Nobody’s home, so you make up a funny song. You start to sing it and you get louder. As you’re singing it, you decide to get a snack out of the refrigerator, so now you’re dancing across the kitchen floor, sliding and spinning on your socks. Maybe you fall, maybe you don’t. Either way, is this a video you want getting out there? I don’t. Shit.
I’m not saying there’s a video like that out there, but if there is and you see it. I was really drunk that day, and it was my evil twin and if neither of those excuses work; there’s a slight chance that I have a similar video of you that I’m holding on to for such an occasion. Or I don’t. Is that a chance you’re willing to take?
What do you think? Would you prefer a sex tape, or a stupidity tape?
7 Comments to “I Don’t Worry About the Sex Tape”
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I’m pretty sure I have both, so do i still get to choose?
kidding, kind of. I’ll go with the stupidity tape, depending on how stupid it is. Everyone already knwos in insane. this woudl just be more proof.
Maxie´s last blog ..the first of many entries where i talk about how effing weird i’m becoming
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I need to see the singing and fridge raiding video STAT! I’m never coming to your site again if that video isn’t live and in high def by noon, dude.
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A sex tape would be bad if the person was super gross that you were banging though…
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Oh, the infamous sex tape! I have a few stories of my own involving one of THOSE getting out. (I still think it was an AWESOME oops. Apparently, his parents thought otherwise. Then there was his friend…)
Sex tapes are never bad. Ever.
Singing in socks while snacking candidly… That’s another story.
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what am i wearing while singing in the kitchen? have i showered? is my hair done? do i look fat? what am i eating? where is my dog in all this? who would i be having sex with?
the answers to these questions will affect my decision greatly.
gingermandy´s last blog ..Don’t discriminate.
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Making a sex tape and an idiot tape would really be the same thing for me. As I type this I realize how sad that really is.
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@Maxie – Valid point – IF you can explain why you’re doing what you’re doing.
@Elly Lou – I’m assuming you mean by noon on Thursday?
@Jules – Ooh, a plot twist! Sure, the stupidity requires a lot of explanation, but you’d never recover from a bad sex tape.
@Jessica – Why don’t you have a blog to share these sorts of things? I’m very interested now.
@Gingermandy – Flannel pants & a T-shirt, No, No, You look flannel…, A cold corn dog, Asleep on your bed. Who are you having sex with? Gingermandy… You don’t know who you’re having sex with? I’m disappointed in you. Ask more questions before sexing him up.
@Troy – I truly share your pain, I had to look past that part. Either way it’s video nobody wants to see.
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