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Living the Dream
Since when did it become a good thing to live the dream? This concept confuses the shit out of me because dreams are generally pretty bizarre and not always good. Ok, some are good. Some are really really good. I haven’t had a dream like that in forever though. I miss that.
If I were truly living the dream, I’d be walking through the park and I’d see someone I knew. I wouldn’t remember how I knew them, but I’d feel pretty comfortable with them. They’d suddenly turn into a maniac and, as they’re chasing me through the park I’d wind up in a high-tech research facility with no idea how I got in. Of course I wouldn’t care about that. I’m still trying to escape this maniac, you see…
So I’d be looking around and trying to find escape, when I saw my aunt on her porch and I’d stop to say hi. I’d have a glass of Kool-Aid and help her fix the sink. What’s wrong with the sink? There’s a snake in it! Except it’s not a snake, but one of many tentacle arms of a monster than unearths itself through the floor of her house. That’s when you’d appear behind me. I mean, you were probably there all along, anyway. I didn’t really notice you before, but it doesn’t seem odd that you just appeared. You were probably brought here by the allure of Kool-Aid as well.
We’d fight off the monster and I’d help you escape. We’d run down the hospital halls together and you’d stop to buy a kitten. Next thing I know, it wasn’t you, but Burt Reynolds that was fighting with me (and kitten shopping). I must have been mistaken. That’s a simple mistake, after all I’ve got a lot on my mind. You see, somewhere along the line here, I’ve learned that the Mrs wants to go to outer space with this guy I barely know and it’s completely unfair because I’ve never gotten to go to outer space, and this dude is douchebag anyway. I’ll wake up pissed off that you picked the wrong kitten (there’s one wrong one) and that I’m not going to get to go to space.
Although this won’t make a good arguement to be irritated with everyone in the morning, I’ll hold on to it because I feel like I should have been asked my opinion on kittens and first choice to go to space.
Sure, sounds like an exciting life, but if you think about it, aren’t a lot of mental patients living the dream?
Could I have used more commas in that last sentence? No. Why? Because I’m living the dream.
What’s your dream? (Feel free to ramble, I do.)
10 Comments to “Living the Dream”
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Last night I painted a mural on a giant multiple storied wall. I made up all these cool animals that were somehow kitty related. I think one was a kitty/giraffe but tiger print. Then I got to go live in the mural. It was really hot last night. That’s all I got.
Elly Lou´s last blog ..Ten Things
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Seems apropos on MLK Day – the one surefire time when “living the dream” is, in fact, a darn good thing.
Careful of that Kool-Aid. My last memorable dream involved my teeth falling out while I spit up rocks…
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@Elly Lou – Oh man, now that’s all I can think about. Can you sketch this animal for me?
@Suburban Sweetheart – Heh. Weird, but you’re absolutely correct. You’re dream, however, makes me fear Kool-Aid. How could you take that from me?!?
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That fucking rocks! Celebrities always make bizzare cameos in my dreams too. Just last week Val Kilmer was my waiter in a dark cafe where I was engaging in some sort of espionage crap. I’ve also seen DeNiro, Kirstie Alley and strangely enough- Andrew Dice Clay? No idea.
Kool Aid gives me Jonestown nightmares- still won’t drink it.
kelly´s last blog ..Good Monkey, Bad Monkey
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Mmmm Val Kilmer. Wait, what? It was too beautiful to reproduce, PS.
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@Kelly – The Diceman? Wow… I’m fairly sure most Kool-Aid is safe. Let’s all drink it together, ok?
@Elly Lou – This marks the beginning of my eternal depression.
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I have a reoccurring dream involving a prison for the criminally insane that is constructed to look like The Thunder Dome. There’s also a mechanical falcon, lots of nudity (not the good kind), feces and the smell of something distinctly fleshy and rotten (yes, I can totally smell in my dreams). Oh, and there is also my untimely death which is caused be the previously mentioned falcon as well as the previously mentioned nude and crazy inmates.
This dream is the reason I no longer consume Ambien like tic-tacs.
Miss Spoken´s last blog ..The Great Move of 2010 …. Bologna and All
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Wow, I wish the Thunder Dome would make an appearance in my dreams. Does Tina Turner show up in her apocalyptic chain mail dress and blond mowhawk? Cause that would really push me over the edge. Ambien huh?
kelly´s last blog ..I’m Starting Wordless Monday
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I’d be Gordon Ramsey trying to get out an order of filet mignon but I can’t decide if I should butterfly it or not and OMG I FORGOT TO MAKE THE POTATOES and why the fuck is Oprah Winfrey nibbling my toes while Kathy Griffin chews on my dragon tail? Jesus, women..I have an order to fill!
moooooog35´s last blog ..Family Circus and the Day I Got My Ass Sued
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@Miss Spoken – Whoa, that’s a trip! If Ambien caused that, I’m going to search the medicine cabinet. Also, way to bring the Thunderdome into your dream!
@Kelly – Right? Miss Spoken is doing something right. Or wrong. But I think I wanna join in.
@moooooog35 – The part about Oprah Winfrey nibbling my toes would wake me up. Wait… 80s Oprah or Oprah now? Maybe current Oprah would be okay.
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