OMFG MAH NEW FONE ROCKZ!

Is the title too much?  You guys know I don’t write like that, right?  I mean, generally when I talk about my disdain for underwear and my views on sex tapes, I’m so fucking eloquent.  Ok.  Well, that’s out of the way.

I’ll start with an admission.  I am a man, and I like cool toys.  I particularly like tech toys.  Still, I never really cared much about cool cell phones.

I’m 29 and still amazed by today’s technology that I’m supposed to take for granted.  It’s unbelievable that you can have dinner with friends and, at your table, there are 4 phones with different numbers.  I think it’s so awesome that we have 3 HDtv channels where one low-quality signal used to reside.  Hell, I think GPS is some sort of voodoo magic.  I understand how all of these things work, blah blah blah, but isn’t it just amazing?

Take a moment to reflect.

Cool, huh?

Anyway, I’ve watched my friends and coworkers over the years as they upgrade to the newest phone with this bigger screen and the better camera, with each minor but expensive upgrade.  Maybe it’s the expense and the fact that I never felt like I had extra money for that, but I just lost interest.  When I got my previous phone, a Samsung Sway, in January, my nephew was so excited for me, and just couldn’t comprehend that I wasn’t excited too.  A new phone was to him what growing a tail would be for me.  (wouldn’t that be neat?)

The phone was a complete and utter piece of shit, in virtually every way.  After dealing with it for a full year, I’d heard rumors that you could extend your contract 2 years and get Verizon’s iPhone killer, the Droid for under $100 bucks.  I was intrigued.  Driven by a hatred of my existing phone, and fueled with the concept that it could be a birthday expenditure, we hit the Verizon store and picked one up.

This thing is awesome!  I can talk on the phone and browse the web at the same time and almost anywhere.  It connected directly to Flickr, Twitter and my Gmail, which was like a tongue-kiss on the first date.  I would no longer leave the Internet.  No… From now on, me and the Internet would be all BFF and shit.  Visualize me and the Internet, arm in arm, skipping through a meadow.  It’s like that.

Now I get my emails, text messages and direct tweets as soon as they’re sent.  I can watch movie trailers while I’m on the toilet, and for whatever problem I can think of, I can relax in knowing “there’s an app for that” too.  Wow.  This phone has not only changed the way I live, it’s completely changed the way I poop.

Are you a fan of the latest and greatest phones, or could you not care less as long as it dials?