Valentines Day is a Sucker Punch

Valentines Day isn’t something you look forward to when you’re a kid, at least I didn’t. It was just a day when your parents got you a box of shitty character based bulk cards with suckers to pass out to EVERYONE in class.

First off, I shouldn’t have to give cards to boys asking them to “be my Valentine”. That’s fucked up. Further, I shouldn’t have to give them to everyone. Everyone’s not equal, or I’d be a polygamist with male and female spouses from all my life. Is that what Cupid’s about? Multiple relationships? I’m open to a 3 way, but my whole class is a bit much.

I think the suckers attached were irony more than free candy.

Now, here I am, all growed up, and I haven’t had a valentines day yet that was something to look forward to next year. Bulk cards don’t cut it anymore and I’m a terrible pre-planner so thoughtful gifts are tough…

I’m doing great so far though. I’m going to order a gift online that won’t be here in time, and give her something I cleared with her while I was shopping.

Ladies, if your man is more prepared than this, he’s really trying. As for me, I’m switching back to bulk cards and suckers.