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Help Your Aunt Becky
Aunt Becky has finally been given the chance she needs to get her book published. That’s some real shit right there, isn’t it? I’m assuming it’s going to be a hardbacked ordeal with those gold edged pages, bound in leather with one of those built-in bookmarks. I’m not saying for certain that it is, but I’d go so far to say that it should be.
I’m going to go ahead and assume that you guys all know who Aunt Becky is, from reading Mommy Wants Vodka, or follow her on Twitter. I’ll also assume that you’re a snappy dresser and a good kisser. If any of those things are not true, now is the time to change them. Visiting her new site and reading up will definitely improve the quality of your day by at least 23%. It might even take away that terrible burning when you pee. (Or maybe you should get that checked out…)
Can we be “real” for a minute? It’s tough to get published nowadays. Everyone’s afraid to put a lot of money into anything, and print is in tough times. If you want to get published, you’d better be a sure thing. That’s what we’re here to prove with this. If Aunt Becky can get enough pre-pre-orders on her book, she’ll be green-lit (in addition to regular or drunken lit) and happy as a clam.
What do you have to do? Give your name and email, then click the “Hell Yes” button, or just “yes” if you prefer. You don’t have to buy anything and nobody gets hurt. You’re just saying “Hey, this chica’s pretty funny. I’d buy that, like, if it was, you know, like, cheap enough, or had a holographic cover. Submit the form, and bingo bango, you’ve helped a young girl’s dream come true.
So without further Ado, and in celebration of yet another lazy Monday post on my part, go see Aunt Becky and help her get published.
17 Comments to “Help Your Aunt Becky”
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I signed up fourteen times. Don’t tell, but I probably won’t actually buy fourteen copies.
No wonder you’re tired, Pookie! You’re mad pimping and single handedly (is handedly a workd?) coaching the entire blogosphere on Wordpress!
Elly Lou´s last blog ..I’m a Team Player
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KeepingYouAwake Reply:
March 1st, 2010 at 11:24 am
Psh, you’re probably going to buy more than that though. You know, for the kids and stuff. Like at Christmas and stuff. Yeah, that’s the ticket.
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Crispy Nipple The Pimp. I likes.
Miss Spoken´s last blog ..Vomitous Maximus
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KeepingYouAwake Reply:
March 1st, 2010 at 11:23 am
I’m going to see about either getting that name embroidered on a denim jacket, or ironed on to a bowling shirt.
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DONE.
shine´s last blog ..It’s an EPIDEMIC. And I do NOT approve.
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KeepingYouAwake Reply:
March 5th, 2010 at 2:34 pm
You shine so hard.
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I clicked the hell yes button.
I’m avid…
Or rabid…
One or the other.
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KeepingYouAwake Reply:
March 5th, 2010 at 2:34 pm
You’re both and that’s what makes you prolifically gifted.
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Kick ass, shine.
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I wrote up a heartfelt missive about the healing power of her writing and the health benefits of reading her words. Do you think she can buy me a beach house with her advance?
kelly´s last blog ..Fireside Chat
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KeepingYouAwake Reply:
March 5th, 2010 at 2:35 pm
I’m sure of it. She’s loaded. We party on her yacht all the time with a bunch of tranny hookers and just throw them overboard when we’re done and get new ones next time. Living la vida loca or some shit.
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I will buy EVERYONE a beach house. OBVIOUSLY. Thank you.
Aunt Becky´s last blog ..Next on Hoarders: Your Aunt Becky
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KeepingYouAwake Reply:
March 5th, 2010 at 2:36 pm
It’s cool. I just addressed that for you. On the other hand, I gave up the location of a bunch of bodies…
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Fuck yeah!
There’s gonna be such a party at that Love Shack!
kelly´s last blog ..Rock Star Regret
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I was going to ask Keeping You Awake when his book was going to make an appearance but shorten his name to KYA. Then my mind shorted out when I realized it could also stand for Kicking Your Ass, Kitchen Yodelers Anonymous, Kittens Yellow Assholes and Kvetching Your Angst.
Sorry.
kelly´s last blog ..Rock Star Regret
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KeepingYouAwake Reply:
March 5th, 2010 at 2:37 pm
Killing Y’all’s Acronyms. That’s what it could also stand for.
You are hilarious. Make me a haiku.
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Woohoo to Beach House!!! I am not greedy, I just really would like to have that vodka promised on her blog banner all this time… *thirsty*
subWOW´s last blog ..Vote for the Best Just Posts of 2009!
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