The Toast Frequency

Rumor has it that I’ve been off in Zambia, training lions to do my bidding as part of an overall goal of small-rural-town domination.  I will not tell you it’s not true.  You’re smart enough to know that it probably is, and I wouldn’t insult you.

The reality of the situation is that I was challenged to develop a 22 page comic book and ended up with approximately one month to complete it in.  The story began very differently, but the more I thought about it and “fleshed it out”, it grew and changed into something that does make a bit more sense.  That being said, it’s not perfect.

At this time, I’m not completely happy with all the artwork and I think the story needs a little bit of attention.  This is the first part in a series that I’m planning, but that’s not a good excuse for not getting to the point faster, I suppose.  I’m curious to hear what you, my internet friends, think.

Now here’s a problem, or maybe a good thing: The file is too large for me to upload directly through Wordpress Media Upload, so rather than upload it manually I’m considering releasing a few pages a week.  Maybe a page a day, and maybe just a page a day Monday through Thursday, giving me time to redraw and clean some things up.

You tell me, readers.  Would you enjoy reading a page a day, having something to look forward to (poking me with sticks and laughing at me), or are you impatient and you want to see the product of a month?

Tell me in the comments.

Guide to Wishing Properly Pt. 1

Okay, what few of you lovely and loyal readers I have remaining after taking a month off and not finding the time to comment on all the blogs I read and enjoy normally, I just want to say I love you.  I mean that in a an honest I’m-just-trying-to-get-you-into-bed way.  From the heart, and shit.

I’m a student of 10 years at this point, and school is hard.  I’m not saying it’s hard to do, I mean after all I am a genius (if they’ve changed the definition recently to “cheese enjoyer”), I’m saying it’s hard to fit it all in.  With a Mrs and a baby and a house and an addiction to movies, I can’t find the time to do my school work.

You’re going to want to punch me in a second when I tell you that of the 2 classes I took this semester, I was to create 2 comic book style works.  Yes.  I was supposed to draw stuff, of my own choosing, for a grade and I didn’t get it done.  Nobody feels like a bigger loser here than me, let me tell you.

I must admit here that I did do my best, mainly at the end.  There were a number of reasons and excuses I could supply, but they don’t matter because the bottom line is this is what happened.  Sucky, but true.

I bet a lot of you draw.  God, I hope you do.  If you don’t, start now.  If it sucks hide it, but DO NOT throw it away under any circumstances.  You need it to see how good you’re getting over time.  I hate HATE HATE when people throw it away or refuse to show it off.

Here’s the rule on this one, okay?  If you doodle a snowman and someone laughs at it and asks if it’s a roll of toilet paper with lines drawn through it, punch them directly in the nose.  They should be prepared for it, because they are literally asking for it.  I know some really great artists who lay down a few lines and the image takes shape.  They would never laugh at anyone, so screw those who can’t.

*stepping down from soap-box*

So without further BS, here’s the incomplete fruit of my labor.  It’s a guidebook to wishing properly.  The idea is that you might stumble upon a chance to make a wish and you don’t want to cock  it up.  This guide will help you get it right.

Download the incomplete guide here

I plan to finish it, but it’ll be on my time.  It needs a complete overhaul, if you ask me.  That’s all the disclaimer I will put out there.

I’m not asking for praise here, tear it up if that’s how you feel, what do you think (honestly)?

Oh, By the Way…

I’m a 10-year student in search of a Bachelor’s.  Laugh if you must, but my class tonight was in the art of sequential art…  Comics.  Who’s laughing now?  Seriously…  I hear someone laughing…  Is it just me?  I hate that…

Anyway, we were given a task tonight that we had to leave the class, go somewhere else in a basically deserted building, and make a comic based on something we saw.  The first panel had to be something we saw, then we build the rest.  I picked up my things and set off to find someone to base my story on.  There was nothing interesting happening, so I based it on some guy in dress clothes, talking on his cellphone.

DISCLAIMER: I drew this crap in about 45 minutes, so it’s ugly.  It’s also not been cleaned up in photoshop, so these are just rough pencil sketches.  Oh yeah, and it’s a bit dark.

No, it's not. It's not the same thing AT ALL!

Angela!!! You're not listening to me! Something is wrong!!!

You've never been so cold. *sob*

FINE!

Oh, I almost forgot, don't use the bath... I left the toaster in there...

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HAHAHAHA…  Get it?  It’s because she’s dead.  Because he forgot to tell her he left the toaster in the bathtub.  Classic blunder.

Thoughts or interpretations?